Etiquette at Home

Entertaining for young people can be done simply and correctly in a kind and friendly manner, and thus can be pleasant and "fun."If your hospitality is simple your guest can be made to feel welcome. When you have a guest come to stay overnight at your house, be sure to show him around so he can feel "at home." Tell him which parts of the house belong to other members of the family. Your friend will not then be likely to walk into a room where your brother, sister or a parent want privacy.

When your guest arrives,

help him unpack and get settled. He may be tired from his journey, and would like to bathe and rest. Have clean towels and linen ready for him. Soon you can talk over your plans. Perhaps he wants to do something or see a particular place or person while visiting you, and it would be courteous to help him in this.

As a guest,

be sure that your plans are convenient for the host. Always offer to be helpful. One of the first and best ways is to keep your own things in order. If you do not have a drawer or closet for your use while visiting, keep your things neatly folded in the box or suitcase. Most homes in the United States do not employ servants, so that if you are a guest, and observe carefully, it is polite to inquire if you might be of help. Possibly the other young people of the household are assigned regular duties. They might be expected to help to set the table, serve the meal, and clear away and do the dishes afterward. Here might be the proper time to help in the kitchen. If the young people, who are your friends and host are doing their chores, it can be a pleasant and sociable time for all of you to work together. If the family insists that you need not help -- and you should be able to judge that they really mean it, then you are properly excused.

However, if you are staying for a period of time, you may be asked to help with certain duties.

It is fine to be the sort of guest who can be counted on to help. Even if you are not asked, it is well to remember to keep your own clothes in order, make your bed neatly each morning, and place your bath towel smoothly on the towel rack.

With people whom you do not know very well, you might let them suggest what you are to do. Try to be enthusiastic about their plans for entertaining you. Never act bored. Your hostess might serve foods that are new to you or that you do not like, which is apt to happen.

If you are served food that you dislike, leave it on your plate uneaten, but do not make remarks. If your hostess ask you why you are not eating, and you are unhappy about your dinner, tell her politely that you are not very hungry.

Do not overstay your visit. If a member of your host's family becomes ill, it is proper to make arrangements to go home. Ordinarily, when one young friend visits another, there should be no difficulties. By being friendly, courteous and co-operative, either as host or guest, most people find that a visit among friends is successful.

When you are leaving, that everyone for having invited you. After you are home, write a note of thanks to your host and hostess. A thank-you note is sometimes called a "bread and butter" letter. This is an important part of good manners, and should also be remembered when you have been invited out to dinner, to a show, or have been taken to a sports event. Any attention that people show you, in order to give you a good time, should be properly acknowledged with thanks.

Do not be shy about asking questions if you are visiting. For example, your hosts may forget to tell you when to appear for breakfast. You may ask them what time you should be up and dressed.

As host, try to help your guest to feel at ease by mentioning any household customs that concern him.

Be especially patient with elderly guest.

When someone much older then you wants to "visit" with you, they probably are interested in you and the things you do. Often it is a real treat for an older person to talk with young people. You might describe your school and what you are studying. You might tell about the kinds of music you enjoy, for surely the popular music of today is vastly different from what it was fifty years ago. Or you might tell an older person about your hobbies.

Many older people consider things that you have known all your life, such as space exploration, computers and the Internet, as recent and amazing events. Some older people, whose children have grown up, simply enjoy listening to a young voice.

Older people often have interesting stories of their own to tell you. They are twentieth-century people too, and have seen more changes in their life-times then have occurred in all the previous history of the world. Courtesy between young people and older people can lead to interesting friendships.

Table Manners

Some people will judge you by your table manners. Remember the basic rules, such as beginning the first course with the fork that is to your farthest left-hand side or the spoon on the right. Sit up straight, with the hand that does not hold the fork resting on your lap. Chew your food as quietly as possible. Drink your milk slowly. Do not swallow the entire glassful at one time.By sitting quietly and avoiding extra motion, you avoid spilling. You also make the meal pleasant for others. Avoid "napkin tricks." It is proper to open your napkin on your lap soon after you are seated. Keep it on your lap, remembering to use it to wipe your mouth quietly when necessary.

Be careful when handling sharp knives or forks;

they can hurt if they slip and cut you. When you have a difficult problem at mealtime, do not be afraid to ask quietly what to do. You might follow the example of others, to see how they are cutting and eating foods that are new to you. If adults tell you to go ahead and pick up your piece of chicken with your fingers, they know that you will enjoy it that way. Try to eat as quietly and neatly as you can, whatever you are served and however you are to manage it.Try to keep the table conversation pleasant, for this makes the mealtime a happier occasion. A pleasant atmosphere seems to make the food taste better for everyone.

Whether you are at home, at school, visiting, or in a restaurant, you should always come to the table with clean hands and face, and with your hair combed. Come to the table at the right time. It is always discourteous to keep others waiting. Never reach for your food; it is both impolite and unnecessary. Just ask to have something passed and it will come to you with little danger of being spilled and without the awkward, rude appearance of reaching. Avoid speaking with food or drink in your mouth. It is rude and unattractive, as well as difficult, when just a quick swallow would make such a difference. Stand until all the ladies and adults are seated. This is courtesy that is especially important in public and as a guest in someone else's home.

Boys, remember to help the ladies get up and sit down.

The hostess is the person to watch for a signal to begin eating (she will pick up her fork) and when to rise from the table after finishing the meal.